I Shaved My Hair! I’m Not Crazy, I Just Have Breast Cancer

Here’s how the story unfolds.

On Thursday, February 25th, I woke up in the middle of the night with a vivid dream that I had breast cancer. Unable to sleep, I did a self-examination and found a lump in my left breast. I woke up Jonathan who felt the same lump. We prayed for peace and resolve unsure of what was about to unfold.

On Friday, February 26th, I scheduled an immediate visit with my primary physician, who also felt the lump. She recommended that I schedule a follow up appointment to have a mammogram and sonogram.

Over the weekend, we prayed and prayed… It was a long weekend!

On Tuesday, March 1st, I saw a radiologist who performed the mammogram and sonogram. Based on the images, there were three concerning areas she recommended we biopsy just to be sure of the cell type. That afternoon, I had all three spots biopsied.

We waited for the results over the next 48 hrs. And prayed. It was during this time that Jonathan and I were beginning to feel the magnitude of the situation.

On Thursday, March 3rd, my radiologist informed me that all three spots are in fact, breast cancer. Within a week, I went from totally healthy to totally SHOCKED.

It took 1 week to turn my life completely upside down.

The weeks of March 7th and March 14th were filled with appointments with surgeons and oncologists. And finally, thanks to my new medical team and family, we formulated a plan of action.

On March 25th, (my 34th birthday), I began the first of six chemotherapy treatments. Because of the type of breast cancer, the doctors want to act swiftly and aggressively. They are hopeful that all the cancer will be killed by time of surgery.

Life doesn’t always offer fairness. Sometimes, life hands you cards that seem impossible to handle. But, I know (and I’m still learning) that I have the choice to take the hardest moments and turn them into a good and glorious reality based on truth and love.

Without unshakable truths and an overshadowing love (which I’m writing a follow up post to talk more about), I wouldn’t be standing strong today.

On April 6th, I shaved off all my hair.

While I’ll be the first to admit, I’ve shed lots of tears since my diagnosis, I’ve also had a TON of reasons to laugh. My shave party was all love and all joy! Everyone came over for laughter and we turned this deeply saddening moment into something spectacular.

Of course, this year is going to be hard.

I’m not naive to think any less.

But I will continue to choose joy and laughter throughout the pain. Jonathan said to me,

“Hey, didn’t you run the Leadville marathon last summer. You finished in 8 hours, 29 mins, and 55 seconds, which was just 5 seconds before the cutoff which tells me

1. you are great at doing hard things
2. you actually thrive on hard things. And you never quit.
3. you will always have my support. And the support of so many others!”

He’s right. My motto in 2015 was to “Do Hard Things”. This year my motto is “Kick Cancer’s Ass”. Sounds reasonable?!

I would be amiss if I didn’t share an amazing verse that has spurred me on to remember what is truly important. My heart, mind, and spirit are moving closer and closer to what is unseen and eternal.

2 Corinthians 16-18

¹⁶ Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. ¹⁷ For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. ¹⁸ So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.